Fun and games with the Cullens
by jammythedodger
Summary: Craziness with those Cullens, lots of randomness, lots of Emmett in wacky costumes and so on. I suck at writing summaries. On hiatus for a few weeks due to other things, namely exams and stuff
1. Pictionary

PICTIONARY!!!!!

Empov

"I'M SO BOOOOORED. No one wants to play with meeee." I complained to Rosie, she put down her mirror and lipstick (or was it mine from my vast dress-up collection?) and yanked a handful of paper and crayons off the shelf.

"Here, go occupy your 3 year old brain with some colouring. Or Pictionary." I stared at the paper, confused,

"What's Pictionary?" I asked her. She rolled her eyes,

"You draw a picture, no words, of a film, a book, a TV program or an advert and the others have to guess. Now, go find Jazz, Eddie and the walking health and safety issue and LEAVE ME ALONE." She turned away from me and continued to liberally apply hot pink gloss to her lips.

Jpov

Em burst in on us all excited. "Hey guys, wanna play Pictionary?" He waved some paper and crayons under Eddie's nose.Ooh, that sounds fun actually, "I'll play! Bella, Eddie?" I looked over to them, Bella nodded,

"Okay, why not?" We all looked at Edward, he sighed,

"Fine, go on then Em." He gestured for him to start. Em bent over the pad muttering to himself, eventually he straightened up,

"C'mon then, guess! Eddie, no reading my thoughts, that's cheating!" He held the pad up; we all peered closely at it. A box, then a stickman wearing large pants. "Well?" he asked, Ed squinted,

"Is it, a TV program?" he asked Em, he nodded. Ed shook his head, "Nope, I don't have a clue." I didn't know what it was either, nor did Bella. She was sat there shaking her head too. Em frowned,

"Aww, my drawing isn't that bad?" He said, looking quite sad and verging on tears. PING, it came to me,

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!!!" I yelled pointing at the crude drawing.

"Spongebob square pants!?!" echoed Eddie, "That's a stick man!"

"In square pants stupid" I said, proud that I got it before him.

"YES, well done Jazzy Pants!" Called Em back and handed me the pad and crayons, "Your turn." I got up, how hard can it be?

5 MINUTES LATER: I still can't think of anything... That's it! I quickly sketched the book title onto the pad. I held it up, "You will never get this!" I said proudly holding it up. Em cried,

"TERMINATOR!" Pointing at the picture on the page,

"How could it be terminator Em? It's a book can't you see the little picture?" Said Bella despairingly. "It's obvious it's... What is it?" She stopped at stared at the page, "That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever Jasper. Can't you do another, simpler one?" She asked.

"Nope, just give it a g..."

"THE DA-VINCI CODE" Yelled Em leaping up and down on the chair excitedly.

"It's not the Da-vinci code Emmett" I said, I turned back to the only 2 sane people playing. "It's easy really, just think about it." Both Ed and Bella exchanged knowing looks.

"Ok, we will. BUT only for another few minutes, then you'll have to change it if we don't guess correctly" Said Ed pointing at the paper. "Remember tha..."

"THE SMURFS! BARBIE GIRL! PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!" Yelled Em running around the room like a demented chicken.

"SHUT UP EM!" I yelled back "IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANY SANE ANSWERS THEN SHUT THE HELL UP!" Em sat down and went silent. "As you were saying Ed... Ah" Ed and Bella had sneaked off whilst I was shouting at Emmett. Typical.

"FAIL!" Shouted Em laughing and pointing at me. Dear Lord...


	2. Tumblin' monkeys!

Bpov

"**Hello, hey it's your ex; it's one in the morning what the hell do you want?" **Em blasted out the exact same song on the speakers for the 14th time this morning, and it was incredibly annoying. Especially for Edward,

"TURN THAT OFF EMMETT OR I WILL DO IT MYSELF!"" He yelled up the stairs, a noise like a herd of elephants leaping simultaneously onto the floor followed and Em shouted back,

"MAKE ME THEN EDDIE-WEDDY!" I heard him laughing like a drunk hyena, and Jasper too? I then heard Edward dash upstairs and smash the stereo.

"Now would be a good time to intervene Bella" said Alice from the doorway, "Before they wreck the house?" I nodded and we both dashed upstairs, what greeted us was a scene I never want to see again.

"Emmett, why are you wearing a lycra jumpsuit? And Jazzy, why are you wearing a leotard, legwarmers and a sweatband?" said Alice, trying ever so hard not to scream. I would have, I mean you could see everything, and I mean **everything. **Edward was standing there too shocked to move. Jasper and Emmett were grinning like loons,

"Jazzy said he hated the Wii fit as it kept insulting him, so I decided we could do aerobics instead. Do you like the outfits?" Edward growled,

"No, they make you look like the fools you are." Em giggled,

"Says the one who had them hidden in the back of his closet! Nah, don't worry Eddikins, they're Carlisle's."

"CARLISLE'S?" Said me, Alice and Edward in unison. Emmett shrugged,

"Yeah, they were in his top secret closet along with other cool stuff." He turned to Jasper, "Wasn't it?" Jasper did a little pirouette and a curtsey,

"Yup, hey do you think I should wear stuff like this more often Alice my love?" Alice sighed,

"Yeah I suppose. But not with those legwarmers, they clash with the leotard" Those two are nuttier than a peanut plantation. Edward groaned,

"You got to put it back guys, Carlisle especially forbade us not to go in there. Don't you remember the threat?" Emmett scrunched his face up in concentration,

"He said that if we did he would tell Esme that we were the ones who picked all the flowers in the garden for the prank on that Newton boy instead of some mindless vandals?" Edward nodded,

"Yeah, wait THAT WAS YOU?" Em and Jazz nodded. Edward rolled his eyes, "Anyway, lets put them back."

Empov

Teehee, we've really wound Eddie up! So anyway, Ed opens the closet and orders us to put the leotards back,

"Put them back, now." He glowers at Jazzy and me, I know that look and as I remember, if he uses that look then it isn't going to end well. For me in particular since he blames everything on me. So I put back, so did jazz the little copy cat.

"Happy now?" I asked Eddie. He nodded, but then Bella yelled,

"Oh that's so cool! Carlisle has so many board games!" I looked at her, sheesh, everyone thought I was the crazy one around here,

"They are cool because???" I asked her, but then the very hyper Jasper (My fault, oopsie!) got involved,

"They are cool as I have never heard of them, I mean, tumbling monkeys? Have you ever seen a game so epic as that?" He pulled out a tattered box, oh my god. "TUMBLING MONKEYS, WOOOOOOO! LET'S PLAY GANG!" I grabbed the box and ran into the front room.

Edpov

So Em found a game in Carlisle closet and proceeded to enthusiastically set it up. Jazz had joined him too and now they were both hooting like monkeys, oh great let's see how it turns out.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A MINUTE NOW." Cried Em, "I must put my very special games outfit on."

"You don't have a very spe... Oh no." What was he wearing?

"AAAGAAAADOOO DO DO PUSH PINEAPPLE SHAKE THE TREE!" Shouted Jazz at the sight of Em, who now sang the same thing,

"C'MON EVERYONE! AAAGAAAADOO DO DO PUSH PINEAPPLE SHAKE THE TREE, TO THE LEFT TO THE RIGHT JUMP UP AND DOWN AND TO THE KNEES. COME AND DANCE EVERY NIGHT, SING WITH HULA MELODY. EDWARD YOU'RE NOT SINGING?" I was being asked to sing by a dancing palm tree (Emmett)

"I have coconuts!" yelled Jazz appearing from the kitchen wearing a hula skirt and a flowery necklace, wielding two coconuts. Where did he get that from?!?

"Ah jazz, let us sing and dance in reverence of the Hawaiian gods. Give me a coconut!"

Bella and Alice were wetting themselves laughing,

"What about the game?" I asked,

"Meh, we'll do it later. Come on Em, let's boogie!" said jazz shaking his hips, "1,2,1,2,3,4! AAAGAADOOO (etc)"

(I apologise if you do not know agadoo, it's is a crazy party dance, ok?)


	3. Oh no!

It has strayed from the point a little, but I couldn't think of anything else, sorry. I will return to the point in a few chapters.

Apov

"HOLY FREAKING MOTHER OF INFINITE MOOSES!" screamed Carlisle when he arrived home that evening.

"Oh, hiiii Carlisle, we were um," I begun to explain, then Jazzy leapt on top of him,

"WHEEEEEEE, im a butteryfly. Aren't I prettyful?" He was wearing lots of colourful scarves and bug feeler things on his head. Carlisle groaned and grabbed Jazz's collar,

"How did you get so hyper Jazz? Ah, Emmett I guess."

"Umm, yeaaah. He told me that there was no way I could eat 100 pixie stix then drink 4 litres of Dr Pepper. But then I did and the Wii fit told me I was obese and I was like NO WAY STUPID MACHINE and them Em found a leotard and Lycra bodysuit in your closet and we were doing aerobics. Now I'm a butterfly and Em's a catterpiddler." He pointed at the sleeping bag in the corner.

"Emmett, get out of there. Now would be good if you don't want to get your BUTT KICKED TO KINGDOM COME!"

*GIGGLE* "No, I am waiting to emerge as a butterfly." Carlisle dropped Jazz and stormed upstairs.

"You had better not of touched my tumbling monkeys! *rummages around* Grrrrrr, calm down Carlisle, you know what they say, if you can't beat them, JOIN THEM. Now where are my vampire strength painkillers?"

"Is he gone?" asked Eddie peeping from underneath the piano. "Good, now, when is Esme and Rosalie back?"

"Err, tomorrow." Then Bella called from upstairs,

"Umm, guys, Carlisle has got his Lycra out and is doing some very weird stretches, NO NO CARLISLE DON'T, too late."

"Too late what Bella?" asked Eddie,

"He has jumped out the window and is running towards Forks, in Lycra." I saw a big headline in my mind, LOCAL DOC HAS MENTAL BREAKDOWN,

"We had better find him, else we are in deep trouble!" I yelled as I ran to get my coat.

**Like it so far? Please comment!**


	4. Banana wafflyness

**This has no relevance to what just happened; it's just a random bit I decided to put in.**

Edward was sitting at his piano when Jasper came in,

"Banana waffle chipmunk." He said,

"?!?"

"It's banana waffle chipmunk Ed" said Jasper again pointing out the window.

"It's a chipmunk, but not a banana waffle chipmunk Jazz"

"YES IT IS. IT IS BANANA WAFFLE CHIPMUNK. HE IS MY FWEND. OMG SHUT UP" and he ran out the room crying.

"Weird guy, isn't he Bob the stickman?" said Edward addressing a scribble on some paper.

**Anyhow, I'll return to the story when I can. Plz review!**


End file.
